


Just A Sleepover

by MaxTheMemelord



Series: Sanders Sides Individual Angst Fics [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I write exclusively hurt/comfort don’t @ me, I’m sorry in advance, Self-Harm, Sleepovers, Suicide Attempt, it starts as fluff, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21626059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxTheMemelord/pseuds/MaxTheMemelord
Summary: Heads up, this is gunna hurt bois
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton
Series: Sanders Sides Individual Angst Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514423
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up, this is gunna hurt bois

After weeks of convincing and a few extra days of planning, Patton and I got Logan and Virgil roped into our idea. 

To be fair, Virgil was interested from the start, but he had to pretend not to care because it’d ruin his aesthetic.

A sleepover.

Nowhere special, nowhere dangerous. I promised the dragons in the Imagination weren’t too dangerous, but Logan remained suspicious, hence why we aren’t having fun in the Imagination.

In the end, we compromised so we ended up in my room. Not too dangerous, not too boring.

A perfectly normal sleepover.

Quickly I snap back to reality, as I feel movement on the couch beside me. Patton has returned with the snacks, then.

A rule that was added by Virgil was that there would be no use of summoning, considering when I summoned things, Remus always gets involved now. Of course I don’t mind, he and I have started getting along better now, flesh and blood and all that. I understand where Virgil is coming from, though, so I won’t make him leave early.

Patton’s only condition was that the four of us participated, so we could spend time together.

My train of thought was swiftly interrupted once again as a large bowl full of popcorn was nudged into my arm by Patton. I take a fistful, embracing the warmth for a moment before promptly shovelling the popcorn into my mouth. I take the bowl in my other hand and pass it to Virgil, who is sitting next to me.

He takes exactly three pieces before passing the bowl across to Logan, who just holds it in his lap for the time being.

“So!” I say, breaking the silence that had settled in the living room. “Any movie suggestions?”

“Ooh! Ooh! Let’s do The Little Mermaid!” Patton chimed in immediately, as if the thought had been on his mind for hours.

“Unfortunately, I’m against that movie, Patton. I watched it just yesterday.” Logan adds in, making brief eye contact with Patton, shooting him a somewhat apologetic look.

“Wait, Calculator over here watches Disney as well?” Virgil sits up as he says this, suddenly more alert.

“Apparently so, Manic Panic.” I chime in, my voice louder than intended. Virgil flinches before speaking again.

“What about Mulan?” Virgil suggests quietly, but his voice doesn’t waver.

Of course I picked up on it, he just mentioned one of my favourite (to be fair, all of the Disney movies are my favourites but bear with me) Disney movies of all time!

“Speak now or forever hold your peace! Or like, until the movie is over, I guess.” I say, as I stand up, picking up the DVD and placing it slowly in the DVD player.

The movie begins just as I sit down.

About two thirds of the way through the movie, I notice a weight drop slowly onto my right shoulder. I glance over, still somewhat watching the movie to see Patton slumped over on my shoulder, his breathing slow and calm and his eyes shut.

A smile creeps across my face as I turn back to the movie, watching it intently until the credits finished rolling.

Virgil was the first to stand, stretching his arms high.

Logan stood second to turn on the lights. He began to speak, but I placed my finger to my lips, and then pointed to Patton, his head resting oh so lightly on my shoulder.

With a bit of help from my fellow Sides, I managed to slowly move Patton off my shoulders and into a comfortable position, lying down on the couch.

The three of us that were still awake moved to the floor and began to talk idly, but to be quite frank I wasn’t paying attention.

I was focused on one thing, and one thing only. I had an idea, but it was less of an idea, more of a fear. Was Virgil’s constant presence rubbing off on me that bad? 

But anyway, back on track.

If in Patton’s room we’re overly emotional, and in Virgil’s room we’re overly anxious, what happens in my room? It doesn’t appear to be creativity, because nobody has come up with any good ideas besides him tonight.

So what could it be?

Patton embodied Morality, but his room made us emotional, meaning that our role isn’t directly correlating to the affect our rooms have.

Then what does my room do?

Nobody comes here anymore, not even Remus.

What else do I do?

I suppose I’m dramatic, and open? Honest? Maybe everybody has intensified personality? Flair?

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m flopping on the ground and sighing.

“What’s that for, Princey?” Virgil chimes in, his tone snarky as per usual.

“That is very out of character, even for you, Roman. What’s the matter… uh… fah-am?”

“It’s pronounced ‘fam’ and it’s just… my room. I don’t know what it does to people, like Virge-”

“Like my room makes people anxious?” Virgil cuts in, surprisingly confident.

“And, following,” I continue, picking up where Virgil left off, “Patton’s room- wait.. shh, shh.” My eyes widen as I silently gesture to Patton’s sleeping figure.

Soft murmurs were coming from his side of the room.

Without communicating any further, the three of us creep closer, trying to hear what Patton is saying, with no doubt, it’ll be something cute that we can tell him about later!

Unfortunately, it was no such thing.

In a soft, fearful voice, the fatherly character whispered.

“It’s not like.. they wouldn’t even notice… they haven’t noticed so far, I could just… take it… take it all a step further…”

I can feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion. What does he mean? I glance around, and both Logan and Virgil share similar looks of confusion.

“They don’t even… care… it’ll be fine… Thomas can cope… without me… nobody’s noticed, it’s been… happening for… months…”

And then Patton rolled over and stopped speaking.

Yet again, without communicating it, Virgil, Logan and I take a few steps back to discuss what just happened without waking up Patton.

“What does he mean something has been going on for months?” Logan hissed, his tone serious and confused.

“I don’t know.. I don’t…” I stutter, my words failing me. I turn to Virgil, to see a knowing look on his face.

“I have…”

“What is it, Emo Nightmare?”

“It’s just a hunch…” Virgil muttered under his breath as he began walking over to Patton.

Before either Logan or I could stop him, his hands gently gripped Patton’s arm, and with baited breath, he flipped the arm over in one swift moment, leaving the arm with the palm and wrist facing upwards.

His wrists were bare.

Virgil let out a sigh of relief.

“What was that about, Hot Topic?” I creep over to Virgil’s side, only seeing him release Patton’s arm from his hands steadily as to not disturb him.

“I thought, no it’s stupid…” Virgil spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“No thoughts are stupid, Virgil.” Logan reminded the anxious side, coming to stand closer to the rest of us.

“I thought he was um.. hurting himself..” Virgil looks away, gritting his teeth.

“That was my immediate assumption as well, don’t fret Panic! At The Everywhere.” I spoke up, my voice slightly hoarse.

I cough to hopefully clear the uncomfortable silence. I say hope, because nothing changed.

Virgil is looking at the ground, clearly embarrassed.

And Logan? Logan looks concerned, lost in thought.

Like, more than usual.

“Hey, Calculator, what’s on your mind?” I say lightly, trying to brighten the mood, even slightly.

Without saying a word, Logan lifts his left hand and points at Patton’s hip.

His shirt has ridden up with all of the tossing and turning he’s done.

With the small amount of skin that is exposed, there is more red than actual skin.

Red lines line his hip and before I can stop myself, I surge forward and push his shirt upwards. 

Gasps come from every awake person in the room.

There is almost no part of Patton’s hips or stomach that isn’t either covered with bruises, scars, or cuts.

My hand flies to my mouth as I notice a glint of silver in Patton’s khaki pocket.

I reach slowly to pull it out, and I feel two sets of eyes practically burning into the back of my head.

I don’t need to turn around to know that both Logan and Virgil are standing just behind me, holding their breath, anxious beyond belief.

Slowly extending my hand, I reach for the metal in Patton’s pocket when I see him shift again. 

In a swift movement, I pull his shirt down and push the two sides standing behind me away, back to where we were sitting before.

Logan and Virgil are beyond concerned, but I speak normally, as if we’re in the middle of s conversation.

“And then, I asked if he wanted some more batteries!” 

Virgil, quickly catching on, laughed loudly. Logan, on the other hand was still fixated on Patton as the moral side slowly woke up and looked over to us.

“Oh, hey guys! What are we talking about?” Patton chimed in sitting up and bouncing over to where we were in one fluid movement.

“I’m just telling Logan and Virgil about the time Remus swallowed an entire flashlight. Like, one of those ones that you shake to get them to work?”

Patton laughed, although, with what I just saw I could easily tell how fake it was.

“Well, looks like you didn’t wait on little old me then, haha!” Patton laughed again and stretched a wide smile across his very clearly tired face.

“Well, yes, you were asleep, and we just talked without you instead of waking you up. It seemed logical.” Logan chimed in, and then I noticed his face fall, as I picked up on what he said.

It basically translated to “We don’t need you to have fun.” And even I could realise how much those words would sting with whatever Patton was feeling at the moment.

“Okay, well I’ll leave you guys alone, I’m going to go and sleep in my own bed, see ya!”

Patton sunk out as everybody protested loudly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, apologies about the wait, I wasn’t super happy with this, and it’s short but like, better late than never?

Once I was safely in my room, I let the tears fall freely. They didn’t need me here. They didn’t need me.

They didn’t want me.

They never have.

Locking my room with one swift motion, I pace over to my bed and bury my face into the pillow, sobs wracking my entire body. 

I continue like this for gosh knows how long, before I pull myself from the pillow and admire and grimace at my red, puffy face, swollen from crying.

They don’t need me.

I repeat that to myself like a mantra as I sit up and lean against the wall of my room, placing my hand into my pocket, and pulling out a razor blade.

“No more of this coward stuff. Go for gold, maybe finally you’ll succeed at something.”

I continue repeating this to myself as I place the razor at the base of my wrist, dragging it upwards.

Repeating the same on the other side left me tired, the razor drops from my hands as dark creeps into the very corners of my vision.

My ears begin to ring as I vaguely hear something from the other side of the door to my room.

Shouting?

Pounding?

Thudding?

Oh well, they’ll learn to do without me.

I see my door get broken inwards as my head slumps against my own shoulder, my world going black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *yeets another chapter at you guys*

I don’t remember much but panic after Roman broke the door down. 

I remember running into Pat’s room and seeing blood.

I remember rushing to his side as he bled from his arms.

I remember being told to apply pressure by Logan.

I remember panic.

And then it was radio silence for about a week. 

Patton had a pulse, and Patton was alive.

But nobody knew if he’d ever wake up again.

I sigh and press my hand lightly over his heart, my eyes once again filling with tears.

One day.

One day I’ll talk to you again.

. . .

That one day turned out to be sooner rather than later, then again, I do have a tendency to be melodramatic about things. It’s my job.

Back on track, Patton began to stir. I could feel my heart thumping, as if it was going to leap out of my chest.

Cautiously, I moved to touch Patton softly on the shoulder, his eyes opening slowly, squinting at the light. “I.. what…? Virge..?” He says, his voice cranky and soft.

“Oh my god, Patton!” Without any consideration, I could feel my body practically moving on its own as I flung myself into Patton, enveloping him in a hug. “Please never do that again!”

The moral side lifted his hand and rubbed his head, as if only just realising he was alive.

“I.. uh.. why..?” He said, caution the prevalent emotion that was portrayed in his shaky voice. He hugged Virgil back, nonetheless.

“Because we care about you! We all care so much and we don’t want you gone!” 

Virgil could feel Patton heaving for breath in between sobs, so he loosened his hug. 

“I just feel so worthless, all of the time, Virge.. I always do everything wrong..” Before Patton could even finish the sentence, Virgil had begun talking.

“Pat, you are so, so important, and I quite literally wouldn’t be here without your influence.” After a confused look from Patton, and a few moments of silence, Virgil continued, not letting the weight of what his words implied hang in the air for too long.

“Look, I’ll cut this short, because I’m supposed to get everybody in here when you wake up, but also please for the love of everything good, never do that again.” Virgil patted morality on the shoulder twice in a comforting fashion before leaning out of the hug and yelling towards the door.

“Guys, Patton’s up!”

An audible crash could be heard from the kitchen, and then Logan yelling something at Roman, and then a second crash, before the stairs began to creak and the door slammed open a moment later, as if they’d just materialised there.

They just stood there for a few seconds, before Logan approached Patton, tears welling fast in his eyes.

“Patton, oh my god.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah sorry.
> 
> I’ve got two other chapters written for this and I’m writing the final chapter as soon as I upload this so expect frequent-ish updates


End file.
